Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I left him......

I left Colton for the first time....HOLY COW....I was nervous the WHOLE HOUR I was gone..haha...I just didn't want him to cry the whole time. I knew he was in good hands but I just didn't like the idea of leaving him yet....

My mom was first supposed to be here so I wouldn't worry...but then mom and dad got a chance to go to Branson so they took it....(by the way....they went and stayed at the Big Cedar Lodge - the Bass Pro RESORT and they love it....) I can see our next family vacation already planned....
back to mom...so I was nervous .... who was going to keep the little one.... everyone is back in school or busy GETTING THEIR HAIR DONE.....haha....but it all worked out... The lady that helps me in the morning at the gym agreed to come to the house and keep all the kids....It worked out great;....THANK YOU ASHLEY....I can't tell you enough....

Postpartum depression is starting to set in...I am trying really hard to keep busy and not thinking about things. I started crying last night when I was looking at Colton and realized that he is growing up and I am not going to get to do this again..(be up at all hours of the night)...YES...I will miss it...it is so quiet and peaceful and it is just you and the baby....(I can always sleep when I am dead) I am really excited about next Thursday but nervous about leaving....I just like to have everyone near me...I know that I am wierd....I know that I am buggin' Toby since I am getting clingy...I am trying not to be....I am making a point to try not to get to emotional or goofy....But like everything else...this stage will soon pass...

A good note.....to close on....Colton slept 5 hours last night (in a row) from 11 pm - 4 am...It was amazing...It was nice to get to sleep...

4 comments:

a cowgirl at heart said...

We will just make sure you are having so much fun you won't have time to think about it! You're right, just remind yourself, "This too shall pass." And it will. Love ya and I am so ready to get my hands on that sweet baby!

Helen Keller said...

well, i have not just had a baby and i am always emotional and weird. something about this time of year makes me crazed. hang in there!

Amy said...

Stupid hair appointments. Kate and I would have LOVED to get some baby love in the middle of the day!!

When school starts on Monday we need to make a serious effort to get together for lunch or something on a regular basis!! We need to stick together!! I have had one of those weeks too! I feel like I am on the verge of tears about every second! You have a great excuse...what's mine?? I'm just a big cry baby!!

Anyway, you are doing great. The baby looks great. YOU look great. We love you. AND we get to wear wigs next week!!:) That should make you smile!!

Marci said...

Oh, that is always the hardest, leaving for the first time...i worry even when i leave them with my mom even though i know they are in good hands. can't wait to see you next week!!